If there’s interpersonal relationship and interpersonal communication, interpersonal conflicts are inherent. Put simply, interpersonal conflicts are fights, arguments and disagreements you have with your fiancé. Yes, fights, arguments and disagreements are inevitable in an interpersonal relationship and in intimate relationship. If you’re already up in arms when you are engaged, then think what will happen once you tie the knot! Scary thought isn’t it?
Yet, there are some strategies to manage interpersonal conflicts so that they won’t get the better of your romance and intimacy. Interpersonal conflicts in a relationship cannot be avoided but they are most certainly and definitely can be atoned.
- Avoid major interpersonal conflicts by taking action earlier on
This is the most crucial step that will prevent interpersonal conflicts later on, when you’re finally hitched to each other. Dating is different than living together. When you’re dating and engaged, you only show your best side to your fiancé, hiding the bad side. Once married all the ugly side would emerge and disgust will manifest. Next, major interpersonal conflicts will take your marriage by storm. This can be avoided. Play a game – a brutally honest one. List out what you don’t like about yourself, like your habits, quirks, etc and exchange the list with your partner. Pretty much like what Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds do in the movie The Proposal. Pay surprise visits to each other’s place and check out each other’s room and washroom. After all, you’re going to share the same room and bathroom soon anyway. This way, you’ll be less shell shocked on each other’s ugly side after marriage or there will be time for you and your fiancé to change the unsavory ways and major interpersonal conflicts can be avoided.
- Don’t keep your dissatisfaction at your fiancé to yourself
If you have a grievance or a gripe about your fiancé, say it out on a face to face basis there and then. Don’t let a conflict ferment as it quickly can fester. Trust me when I say that the best way to sort the conflict out is by face to face communication. The active information exchange and reality vision where non verbal communication nuances can be picked up and interpreted as ‘concern’, ‘pain’, ‘guilt’, etc can help resolve the conflict faster and more efficiently. Come clean, be frank and bona fide. Your fiancé can only change him or her and change their ways if you tell them. It’s not like all of us are blessed with telepathic powers.
- Choose your battles
Don’t make a huge issue of everything – choose your battles. Complaining/lamenting over every tiny thing won’t solve anything and it won’t endear you to each other either. Know that ways of doing things and opinions are as diverse as people and make a conscious decision on which issue is worth addressing and which is not. If you simply pick fights over the tiniest things, your relationship will be compromised. Learn to give and take.
- Say sorry even if you didn’t do the wrong
Apologize. The simple gesture of apologizing would save both of you a lot of energy that can be spent to add quality to your mutual relationship rather than arguing on the basis of ‘winning the argument’. When you apologize even when you are not in the wrong it shows that you value your relationship with your other half more than your ego of being right. It will make a positive impact provided that your gesture is not taken for granted.
This is how interpersonal conflicts can be mitigated. With love, care and affection thrown in heaps, an intimate relationship will overcome the odds and bloom.